You could almost call me a confidence man, because simply I have an unreal sense of confidence in many of my skills. One thing that we learnt in the education course is that self-efficacy (your belief that you can pull something off) is one of the most crucial determiners of success. Well for teaching English in general I have very strong belief. Even though I have produced some lacklustre performances, I still believe that I am not just a good teacher, but an exceptional teacher.
Of course, beliefs like this are not necessarily true. For example, for most of my teens and early twenties I was psychologically tall. Why? For a short time, I was pretty tall for my age. I got a literal "head"start on many of my classmates, before they shot past. For some reason, that belief of superiority and height advantage were frozen in time and mind. Ever since I have never been concerned about height, even when others seem to emphasise the importance of it.
Since I came back teaching English, I still have had the positive belief about my teaching despite some less than convincing performances. But over the weekend I engineered a little teaching miracle. I was given the responsibility of saving a course and maintaining another. In a curious turn, even the student who left my "lower" class has joined the higher class I'm teaching. So I have increased the roll! In a word, I fulfilled my vision of myself perfectly. The theoretical model of Daniel as a good teacher became true. And it was a good feeling.
The classes I have produced are challenging - two observers were a little rattled at how much responsibility and tasks I was throwing onto the students. Maybe that is a drawback already and something I will need to think about. Some students are in shock that I am making them do work - this class is becoming a "Just do it!" class. Actually I think that is a good idea to really instill explicitly from tomorrow.
Either way, challenges are still there for me too. Like how can I maintain this. I am just thankful for the mornings off.