Optimal Self-efficacy
You could almost call me a confidence man, because simply I have an unreal sense of confidence in many of my skills. One thing that we learnt in the education course is that self-efficacy (your belief that you can pull something off) is one of the most crucial determiners of success. Well for teaching English in general I have very strong belief. Even though I have produced some lacklustre performances, I still believe that I am not just a good teacher, but an exceptional teacher.
Of course, beliefs like this are not necessarily true. For example, for most of my teens and early twenties I was psychologically tall. Why? For a short time, I was pretty tall for my age. I got a literal "head"start on many of my classmates, before they shot past. For some reason, that belief of superiority and height advantage were frozen in time and mind. Ever since I have never been concerned about height, even when others seem to emphasise the importance of it.
Since I came back teaching English, I still have had the positive belief about my teaching despite some less than convincing performances. But over the weekend I engineered a little teaching miracle. I was given the responsibility of saving a course and maintaining another. In a curious turn, even the student who left my "lower" class has joined the higher class I'm teaching. So I have increased the roll! In a word, I fulfilled my vision of myself perfectly. The theoretical model of Daniel as a good teacher became true. And it was a good feeling.
The classes I have produced are challenging - two observers were a little rattled at how much responsibility and tasks I was throwing onto the students. Maybe that is a drawback already and something I will need to think about. Some students are in shock that I am making them do work - this class is becoming a "Just do it!" class. Actually I think that is a good idea to really instill explicitly from tomorrow.
Either way, challenges are still there for me too. Like how can I maintain this. I am just thankful for the mornings off.
3 comments:
Wednesday was harder. One slip of the tongue on my part led to a small issue. But that was addressed. And it was otherwise smooth.
My biggest frustration right now is faulty administration. I spent 20 minutes of time to solve a student problem caused by administration. I am in the process of writing an e-mail to that effect. I feel the lead teacher is one to let problems just idle, unaddressed at times (not all the times of course).
We'll see what effect that has!
"I am in the process of writing an e-mail to that effect. I feel the lead teacher is one to let problems just idle, unaddressed at times (not all the times of course)."
Perhaps it would be more constructive if you talked to the person, rather than vent your feelings online?
Blogs are one part vent, one part introspection, one part information and one part entertainment.
The venting aspect is very important. When I was doing teaching training last year, it helped a lot. Same in this situation, it helps me get on with the job of living. And helps to give me some objective insight into my issues. I don't use it to solve problems - I am sure it doesn't do that.
"Perhaps it would be more constructive if you talked to the person"
Well as pointed out in the original comment, I wrote an e-mail saying exactly what frustrations beset. I hope to hear a formal response soon, as you know now. I am very open to discussion, feel free to ask.
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