Sunday, January 29, 2006


In our adrenalin filled world, an idea of bliss is sometimes hard to find. Maybe my last list mixed bliss and happiness, and probably with some pleasure in there too. For me now, bliss is the feeling of being unencumbered, released from something or to be immersed in an experience and hence released by other things.

The most interesting thing for me is that the bliss itself is not pleasure nor pain, but just experiencing what the senses bring..

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Happiness is...

...a warm bun re-affirmed

...a painless back

...tasting food

...a nice sleep

...ranting in synchronicity and in tune with a fellow ranter

...a rainy day

...watching healing

...connecting to someone through an image

...unexpected acceptance

(feel free to add to this)

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Old friend

When it comes to friends, I'm a sieve. I enjoy people and their friendship when they are around me - but change my situation and suddenly I lose touch. Until recently, the longest-term friendship from start to finish (not in consecutive years) I had was 12 years. This friend I had lost contact with but was re-acquainted with after a hiatus. On Piha on Sunday, though, I was lucky enough to bump into a primary school friend whom I knew for two years (form one and two) so that means I finally have a friend whom I had known more than 15 years ago. I am rather interested in re-establishing our friendship and will undertake efforts to make sure it happens.

Interestingly, in my job interviews for GCSB last year they would have required me to give the details of someone who I had known for over 15 years - a task which would have been very difficult.

Friday, January 20, 2006

The third week of the year

is drawing to a finish. I didn't get around to planning my professional career much. Priority was given to embracing the little time I had with my lover before she goes back to her island and mountain, and with me preparing for work proper, also resting with back pain I didn't have a terribly large amount of time to do any of the investigations I was planning.

What my sister believes is a back spasm is causing me no end of grief. Fortunately I'll be going to the physio on Saturday and hopefully healing can begin. It is overshadowing my usual worries about my ankle.

My good news is that I have moved to three days a week for work, an extra 4 hours a week. Anyone who knows my pay rate knows that this is quite a significant increase. I want to make this year count as much as I can financially so it is a good start.

Monday, January 16, 2006

"And we are both utterly humorless about our vegetarianism."

The line above was part of a Simpsons episode which at first I didn't really understand. Sometimes Simpsons seems to pack everything into being a joke so sometimes it is easy to think that something is a flat joke when it is not. But now I may have realised that maybe there was a vegetarian amongst the scriptwriters who was trying to relay a general experience.

Last night, I had dinner with a primarily Mainland Chinese group of people. And with every new person came the thrice repeated series of: "Oh Daniel's vegetarian" "Oh, how many joys and pleasures you'll miss out on." "How will you ever become full?" "Do you eat fish? Some vegetarians eat fish" "What about prawns?" And for once I was starting to get a bit humorless.

A Chinese student of mine, with some insight, may have explained to me earlier about how Mainland Chinese have a harder time understanding voluntary vegetarianism (or any semblance of animal rights). He mentioned that Chinese have starvation in their far too memorable recent past (barely a generation ago). With all the culinary bliss to be thankful for it is a sin not to take all that you can.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Winding up

...seems a rather contradictory phrase. If you wind up a business, or your work for the day, it is about to finish, whereas in terms of someone about to punch you, it is about building energy to unleash upon... in preparation of a beginning.

I am winding up (the latter) for 2006 with some resolution not to let 2005's slump continue.

After a restful first week to the new year, chewing through books, playing with my step-sis and acquainting myself with my half-bro, I have plunged back into busyness - mostly in a preparatory manner. Doctors were on my list of things to do - Optometrists, dentists and doctors. My eyes haven't regressed a smidgin. The only thing threatening my teeth are a couple of rather unwise upstarts that will need to be dealt with this year. Once my ankle is better, I will be physically well set for my onslaught this year.

The next two weeks (starting Monday) will be a complete review of where I am going and analysis of the options in front of me. Will it be work or study proper?

During this time, I will be also reviewing my spiritual path for the year. Whether I need to reflect back on it or progress in a different direction. I have pretty much taken the direct focus away from it over the last few years. But it might be time to re-evaluate the foundation on which I stand.

Chess will also have its time under my eye to decide whether I want to get back into competitive chess. I have felt a little dimmer since I stopped playing.

And with the temporary return of my beloved on Friday evening, it also provides a time to have a look at 2006 and contemplate what it might hold.