It's #YouToo

2018 overall was a good year in staffing in my school, with the exception of a failed probation turned grievance case. (Which saying aloud sounds like a rather large exception to make.) We gained mostly effective, positive teachers including some who had worked previously with our school and then returned. (It always feels like a vote of confidence when staff return to the fold.) 2017 in comparison was the challenging year for staffing where I was stretched dealing with two teachers involving themselves inappropriately with students and another two performing so poorly that they had to be managed out of the company. But in the final wind-down to the year that familiar theme of teachers going too close to the line of ethically again came to the fore, and it made me think about #MeToo.

Thinking back to my time in Guangzhou, the message had to be said to every male teacher who arrived. (Of course, these issues aren't strictly male but the incidence is so much higher; during my time I was aware that some female teachers had also crossed the line.) It was a simple message: "Company rules state that you should have professional relationships with students. For your own good, play it safe and if you have concerns, come to me." Of course, it isn't company rules. It's basic ethics for being a teacher. But China was more of a challenge because many male foreigners had their implicit or subconscious purpose in coming to China as looking for romance. And the additional problem that the only English-speaking people they see day-in-day-out, professionally and socially were students and staff. Then top that pie with a cherry of inordinate admiration that borders on stalking that might also occur. (I might have mentioned it elsewhere but one long-time expat teacher confided that: "In my country, I'm nothing special. But here I'm a god!") When I gave the talk there the older, wiser male teachers nodded and ahh'ed appropriately regardless of what was going on in their own mental calculations. While the younger ones who hadn't anticipated that there were going to be extreme administrative restrictions on their selection of the romantic smorgasbord of the "student body" often had "tells" that showed they were likely going to try anyway.

Teaching in New Zealand of course is a different kettle of fish but the same rules apply. The case from a couple of years ago had a teacher so besotted that he still couldn't figure out went wrong. He'd helped a student out in a few practical situations and then proceeded to contact her again and again. When she made it clear that she only wanted a professional teacher-student relationship he kept contacting her begging to know what went wrong. Once the student complained and the case was in the open, he even asked me what had gone wrong - not even really realising it wasn't the unrequitedness that was the real problem. If it were a typical relationship between equals, there a whole range of possible reasons it didn't work out as he might have wished. In the mix might be that he had an assumption that he was helping her out at times and there had to be some reciprocation. During the investigation, he even besmirched her in a veiled way saying that she'd worked as a hostess in her country and had emotional scars from it. He was humiliated by the case and knowing that upper management had to know about student complaints left on his own accord.

The recent case fortunately wasn't so icky, but still the same mess to tidy up. It was just a clumsy "pass" made by social messaging, and then a clumsy apology. When the student wished to make it a formal complaint and I was then involved, he recognised he was in the wrong but always gave it away when he explained the cause of it being that she was immature or naive. Even after correcting him on this, his following apology letter talked about being sorry that she was offended or made to be uncomfortable. It really bothered me that he couldn't see that the problem wasn't in her response but his actions. 

While we are human, we err; while we are human, we are bound to have inappropriate attraction and fascination with others. This in normal non-role bound life is hard. When it arises in professional situations it does require strength, honesty and prudence. The heart of #metoo appeared to me to be the exploitation of power for sexual advantage. Though teaching doesn't necessarily have the same "power wielding" side to it, relationships with students are obviously in a similar league. Teachers are assessors; they should give time and support to students in an equal way. It's also dangerous for a school to have teachers who challenge the line between appropriate and inappropriate contact. My 2019 resolution is to have a year where these occurrences no longer arise.