I am born again
With the other side of the tunnel reached, today was gently therapeutic. My associate took back over the class showing how easy, and relaxed she makes it look. A lion tamer she is. Or a snake charmer. I still had my role, taking the class through maths.
One thing that counts against me is a sensitivity for control over the whole class (I am a control-freak). I find it hard to proceed when there are distractions; either for members of my class or for me. That means that I tend to stop to suppress it, making the time I am in control rather uneven and negative.
Watching my associate with the clinical eyes of someone who has just been teaching a week, I notice that she suppresses it without too much stoppage. She keeps the momentum. She doesn't just sit waiting, she is always occupied keeping the focus on her or the matter at hand.
We have negotiated what will be done over the next week so I can do what I need to do and also keep trying to improve my practice.