Activity Ex Nihilo

I have always thought that I was overly reliant on talent to solve my problems. I have good ability in some areas. When inspired, I can do a lot of work in very little time. I remember a case in the past where a sixth-form classmate had a fit when I and a similarly talented student got A+'s for thrown together work, while she got a B- for her planned, timely done assignment. That was probably compounded by our saying that we were anxious and that we had rushed our work etc. prior to the scores being handed back.

In my University life, such habits are not as conducive to results. The level of understanding required is higher, and if you are not a strong reader, then you cannot possibly read through required readings efficiently. Passing assignments and tests can always be done but there is a loss of the distinguishing 10-20% to show excellence. This is probably what has hampered my academic results in Uni.

No matter how much I reflect on my scholastic nonchalance, it still persists.

The one thing that is a relief to this is the burst of activity that suddenly makes up for several weeks of diffidence. The last 24 hours have tapped into an atom-shattering release of energy and suddenly things seem quite easy. Now, this is a good position from which to approach what was building to be an anxious third practicum. Suddenly my planning function is in overdrive, my organisation is forming some sense of structure. My handiwork wants to get handy and dissatisfaction with mess will soon be transformed into a tidy room.

Now, the thing that I don't need is distraction. I suddenly see a chinese language tape... Oh I would love to study. A momentary lapse of discipline can lead to 2 hours of Olympics on the box. But awareness of this should be the key.